Stewie & Maggie Takes Over the World
by JokerCarnage5
Summary: A pairing I always thought would work (sort of). Maggie & Stewie are both very intelligent, have a love for firearms & are both trapped in...I should probebly shut up before I leave nothing up to the readers. This is Stewie & Maggie Takes Over the World.
1. Chapter 1

Stewie & Maggie Takes Over the World

A pairing I always thought would work (sort of). Maggie & Stewie are both very intelligent, have a love for firearms & are both trapped in their….shoot me before I leave nothing up to the readers. This is Stewie & Maggie Takes Over the World.

**Chapter One: The Dumbest Invention Ever Made.**

Lois entered the cinema with Stewie in her chest strap. Stewie had packed a self made bomb in his back pack. He had put this on hold for way to long. It was a simple plan, put the bomb under the seat, and blow it up taking out Lois and everyone sitting on the two first rows. He had of course read up on various dictators. Saddam Hussein, Vlad Dracula, Josef Stalin had all killed hundreds of innocents to assure their position of power. If Stewie ever wanted to take over the world he had to get his hands dirty. As the movie started & Lois forgot about Stewie, he went under the seat & started to adapt the bomb (he wanted to be certain his mom would die). When he turned on the bomb to see the on button he saw it was off. That's odd I was certain I put it on. He turned it on & then heard a cable pop out and then a suck-sound. What the duce? He went around the bomb & saw a blond girl in his age staring in rage at him. Stop that Stewie sad. He put the cable in its place, Maggi put it out, Stewie put it in, Maggie put it out, they continued in an even faster tempo. Stewie pulled his gun & Maggie pulled her riffle. They both pulled the trigger, throw them self on the floor. Stewies bullet rickosshed & hit Kenny in the head. Stan sad O my god they killed Kenny, Kyle replied "You basterds". Yep this is a South Park crossover too (Fox is desperate for ratings). Stewie & Maggie continued the fight with hits & kicks. Stewie was amazed what a great fighter this fragile little girl was. It was the latest Bruce Willis movie playing in the theater. Bruce Willis & Van Diesels fighting move matched Stewie & Maggie under the seats. There fight took them up to behind the backseat row. Stewie was now enough far enough to explode the bomb with his detonator. He pulled the detonator. Maggie saw it and pulled another gun out of her diaper and shot the detonator out of Stewie´s hand, it landed with the bullet stuck into it. Maggie & Stewie run right up to etch other & locked etch other in a death brawl when it happened. They both shit their diapers. The both started screaming & crying. Lois & Marge came emidiatly. Stewie How did you came up here, Lois sad. I need to take him to the bathroom. Me to replied Marge. The two babies stared at each other but soon tiered when their mothers started changing. So coming here often Stewie sad. Maggie sucked two times. Ya, who the hell thought buggy theater was a good idea should be castrated & shoot in the skull with his own testicles Stewie replied. He understood Maggie's special languish in a strange way.

Suck, suck. Stewie slowly turned his head slowly towards Maggie. Staring at her from across the table where their mothers changed them (so, I don't know they are called, sue me). There where something enchanting about this mute blonde girl. She was like an American version of Zen from the movie Chocolate (seriously, it's a great movie). On their way back to the theater Lois & Marge carried Magie & stewie. Quickly crawl to the floor Stewie sad. Stewie & Maggie nibble climbed down their mother's clothes & started crawl on the floor. Let's start do that tiresome hand play. They started clapping etch others hands. Suck, suck Maggie sounded. Stewie replied, because if our mothers think that we like to play together they might set up a playtime. Maggie didn't say anything (not that she could but you know what I mean) but she found Stewie kind off cute in an odd bad boy kind a way. Lois & Marge looked at their babies. "O, so cute" sad Lois. Marge sad "we should decide a playtime, you guys live here in Quahog"?

That's the end of Chapter 1 (chapter 2 is on the way) and if you didn't guessed it yet Buggy theater was the dumbest invention ever! Seriously those kids start screaming if a fly buzz around their face, don't take them to the loud ass theater, assholes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Maggie meets The Griffins**

Marge & Maggie came to the Griffins house the next day. The mothers left their kids to their own devices. Stewie wanted to first introduce her to his best friend Brian.

This is my best friend Brian, Brian this is my new friend Maggie. Hey there, Brian said in as nice a voice he could mustered. He squeezed his eyes at Maggie. Is, is there something wrong with her? What do you mean Stewie said, obviously offended. Well her skin is unnaturally yellow, her eyes stick out as a gecko, she has an overbite & I can't for the life of me see where her skin ends and her hair begins Brian responded in an analytical voice. Stewie responded in a slow & ill-willed voice "You won't be in this episode…anymore".

Next Maggie meets Meg and Chris. Meg very gently picked up Maggie & hug her. Hey, their little cute. Maggie hugged back and absorbed Meg's heat. She immediately liked Meg. Meg reminded her about Lisa just that she was a teenager (deal with it Lisa, this is your future). Yeha she said Chris as a response to Megs last line, like Lil Kim before she had her surgery. _Cut off: A pair of aliens' tower over Lil Kim that laid on a cold metal table. They started to cut her with various knifes & tools on their tentacles while she screamed No, please, no, noooo. Yes, I have a weird sense of humor._

Later Stewie showed Maggie his room. And this is my secret weapons room; Stewie said and pushed a bottom. The wall opened up to reveal a long steel room with all kinds of medieval, modern & futuristic weapons. I'm planning to redecorate it Stewie said. Maggie dropped her pacifier and fall backwards, fainting. She woke up a few seconds later. You where impressed I take it Stewie said in a snooty voice. The clock is 13:00 time for my contribution to society. He took a riffle and they both watched out the window. The Griffins neighbor Quagmire had had a couple of hookers over his house during his break. O no, there two of them, do you want a shot Stewie said to Maggie but she didn't get it (killing for fun was not her style). Stewie fired one shot after the other, splattering the prostitutes' brains all over Quagmire. I have to stop bringing hookers over at this time a day Quagmire said. Stewie said Do that Lee Harvey Oswald… cause he didn't… it was the government.

The clock was closing 16:00, a million jokes had happen but I didn't write them down. Maggie had showed off her skills with almost every weapon Stewie had but Marge was soon going to take Maggie back to Springfield. Stewie said to Maggie in the hall, Maggie, in a not so distant future I will contact you again and together we will make our dreams come true.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Springfield Killing Spree **

It has been 16 years since Maggie was in Rhode Island. She had now grown up (ya, that happen). She was a teenager now. She was rather short but was a real knockout. Her hair was still spiky but longer and she had colored the tips black. She had learned to speak a long time ago but she remained quiet (why talk to anyone in this town). She was smarter than most of her peers. She still loved guns. Every day she went behind Moe´s and practiced on cans, she could hit from 700 feet away (yes, that's how big the lawn behind Moe´s where but nobody went their because of the rumors about a hideous troll that brought disposals out of the back of the bar every night). She didn't have many friends at school, she where quiet and often by herself reading, exercising or just scrabbling. All was by her own choosing of course.

Lisa had become a state politician (don't worry about the details they won't matter) and Bart did various jobs (mostly construction work & errand jobs) to pay for his drugs. They had both moved out and Maggie had grown apart from them. She still loved them but she didn't associate with them much anymore. Marge was the same loving person she ever been but Homers life had come to a hoult. His drinking had lead to liver cancer and he needed a transplant but Marge didn't know if the they could afford it. She hadn't told Bart or Lisa yet since she didn't want to upset them but Maggie know. Maggie was extremely worried about losing her loving father and pondered over how she could help get the money for the surgery. They could have gone to Dr. Nick for a cheaper operation but with that guy Homer had better chances if he just kept his old liver.

Maggie came home after a long day at school. Marge greeted Maggie hello with an incredible inauthentic smile. You got a letter in the mail today honey, I left in your room, Marge said. Maggie gave her mother a hug and went upstairs. Maggie had lived in Barts room ever since he left. It had a long black and red bed and was covered with posters of Three Days of Grace and Godzilla. She saw the envelop on her desk. She opened it. Her eyes widen when she took out 35 000 dollars out of the envelop (just enough to pay for Homers operation). Their where also a note where it stood "Want more to have some fun? Kill the man on the photo and meet me on the Springfield playground at midnight on the first Monday of next month. She found a picture in the envelop of Duffman with a caption underneath that said "This man tried to killed your father". Maggie squinted her eyes menacingly.

A couple of days later Homer had have her operation and the entire family was gathered in the hospital to meet him. Lisa argued with Marge over why they hadn't known until now while Bart and Maggie were in dad's room. They both hold Homers hand but while Bart & Homer smiled with no afterthought Maggie had an aching feeling in the back of her head. She knows the best time to strike at Duffman (which is probably why he was chosen). It was at Sundays outdoors fashion show. Duff was one of the sponsors and Duffman was going to make an appearance on the catwalk.

Sunday came and Maggie laid on her bed looking at the sealing. She had seen the catwalk and she had even figured out where she could get in the best shot. An abandoned storage house across the street. She played with her fingers while contemplating if she should do it or not. She really wanted the money and she wondered how her life will be after this. The clock was 20:05, the fashion show started 21:00. She finally made the decision to go, she took her riffle & handgun and went out thru the window and climb down the tree.

The fashion show started and Duffman started his over the top speech. Gooood evening Springfield, this is me Duffman here to remind you that you can always trust Duff to abolish your thirst, oh ya!

Maggie had set up her riffle at the window in the old storage house, there was a steel stair that went up to the window. Maggie still had some doubt if she should take the shoot but she know that she could. She pulled the trigger and half a second later a string of blood came from Duffmans chest. People started screaming and running. Duffmans boss went on his knees and hold Duffmans hand. Richard he said in a worried voice. Duffman said Donald I'm dying. Tell my… wife that I love her… and please don't replace me…with a black guy, sigh. Maggie felt a sudden feeling of pride and accomplishment. She ran out of the backdoor into a back alley. Well isn't it little Maggie Simpson she heard a voice say. It was Police chief Wiggum and Lou standing in the alley opening. We should have locked her up when she shoot Mr. Burns, I know she was a bad seed, Lou said. When did that happen Wiggum asked? Don't you remember it was a two parter Lou responded. I am over 60 Lou, I have only 5 days before retiring and you expect me to remember every case Wiggum said condescending. Maggie panicked and drew her hand gun hand shot Wiggum in the head. Lou shot at Maggie but she manage to avoid the bullet and shot him in the neck. She started running in fear when she bumped into Ralph. He had grow up and had started working in the police force. Hey Maggie Ralph said. Obviously he hadn't seen his dad's corps yet. Maggie that still had her gun in the hand and shot Ralph in the head. His blood started squirting out of his forehead. I'm a fountain, Ralph said in his normal happy voice then he dropped lifeless to the ground, still smiling. Maggie put away her guns in her backpack and run home as fast as she could.

Monday 00:00, Maggie where on the playground. No kids had been there for months. The sand was soaked in urine and the rotten corpse of Louie hanged from the swing set (the cops had been too lazy to move it during the last five months). A shadowy figure appeared from the bushes. Congratulation, you past the first test the shadowy figure said. Maggie squeezed her eyes to see better. After all these years she hasn't forgotten that soccer shaped head. Stewie, Maggie said pondering. So you can talk now and you got quit a beautiful voice. Stewie went out in the light. He had grown into a tall and stocky but still just had nine hairs on his head. Why did you make me do it Maggie asked angry? I didn't make you do anything I just gave you some positive reinforcements. Maggie looked judgmental on Stewie. Stewie saw that she was annoyed. I needed to do it to see if you still had the spark he emitted. I still haven't given up on my dream of ruling the world but I need a personal assassin to carry out certain missions. Maggie's eyes widen in surprise. Wow you haven't grown a bit have you Maggie said (a longer sentence than she usually would even consider telling someone). Stewie handed the money to Maggie, as she took the money Stewie put his other hand on her waist and draw her closer to min. Yes I have he said (as a response to Maggies statement) with a sinister smile. Maggie pushed him away. Maggie, if you helped me rule the world everything you ever wanted is yours automatically. Your family can be as old as Mr. Burns or Jamie Lee Curtis. Come on you can't tell me you liked the thrill and the sense of superiority when you did what you did last week Stewie pleaded. Maggie turned her back to Stewie. After a few silent seconds she turned her head towards him. Stewie if we are going to do this I need to trust you, Maggie said. Okay, how about a test. I kill your worst enemy and you kill mine, Stewie said. I don't have any enemy Stewie, at least non that deserves killing Maggie answered confused. O, I can find one Stewie said. I call you tomorrow to see if you made a decision. Obviously he planned this in advanced. Maggie thought of all good she could do and all bad she could do as Stewies partner, and she liked it. She nod somewhat uncertain and shacked his hand.

The following morning Maggie put on her boots and took a juice box from the fridge. She opened the front door and their it was. The bloody decapitated head of Gerald Samson aka the "unibrown baby". Maggie dropped her jaw in shock but quickly regain her calm. She hadn't had any contact with this guy since she was ten and barley gave him a thought but she remembered that she never liked him. Right, that guy she said she said and took a sip from the juice box.


End file.
